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*tear!*
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second of all, it's extremely cliche, and the rhyming sounds forced. (especially the lines:
Let me take you out every night
And you will be the best sight
and
Nothing can compare
Because I love you I swear)
(the first two lines don't sound that forced, but they still kind of are)
secondly, the style you wrote the poem in. that style was used by every single person who had an english assignment. you should try finding your own voice. a voice that wasn't worn by every person. (pardon my language, but that's like wearing a used condom) it just won't work.
thirdly, your poem does not show, it tells. i can read that poem and have a totally blank face. explain: what is love? what is making someone smile? what is a best sight?
the thing that makes me dislike this poem is how worn out the subject matter and style are. the sentence structure is boring, and it brings nothing new to the table. it's like, a clone of every other cliche, teenage love poem ever.
what i'm trying to say is: throw away that used condom, and find YOUR voice. find YOUR style. don't only write about what everyone already knows. describe it as something new. (hell, i wrote a poem about a splinter!) write about a button, write about a page of a book, and sure, write about love if you like, but don't make it so "been there done that." and finally: DO NOT FORCE RHYME! (try writing free verse, then, you can play around with structures and sentences and not have to rhyme dog and log) i hope i don't come off as too harsh, but you know some people just need that push.
one could write this type of thing in thirty seconds, and not all of it gets this much attention. (there are like millions of these types of poems on dA) it's not because of how "amazing" the poem is, it's just luck, and the fact that he posted it in every literature group that ever existed.
if of course, he is only doing this for the favorites, then well, that just disgraces the name of poetry.
also just so that i don't get mixed up i need to ask you: do you view as my criticism as invalid? because that is the vibe your reply gave.
And my poems probably sound like a lot of other teen poems, it doesn't make them less original.
also you claim to say "inappropriate" things all the time and the condom reference made you sick? are you serious?
also i just read a few of your poems... yeah they are pretty unoriginal. that's pretty much what it means to be unoriginal. to sound like everyone else.